Give me back my stone axe! Donít touch my loincloths, I tell you! And shut up! I cannot stand your face! Keep the fire going; rock the baby. I showed you proper way you should behave. Donít criticize our old and trusted ways. The hearth is messy and so is the cave. Youíre spoiled since the matriarchal days. Sentiments - you keepíem to yourself. Iím leader, Iím stronger, I am man! Learn the rules and start repeating to yourself: "Long live "Primitive and prehistoric clans!" Theyíll kill a mammoth, not inviting me Leaving nothing for me, not even a femur. I cannot sit here with you on this tree. There is something I must kill, at least a lemur. The elders of the clan are shortly coming. Donít YOU come naked to the door! "Stone Age" - and no stones to be found?! For this disgrace, Iím shamed to the core. I know a method to control a wife: Five wives - they call it a polygamy. But my estate cannot afford all five. And thatís my reason for monogamy. The troubleís caused by relatives of yours. My uncle, who was killed by horny animals, Taught me how to live and do the chores And not to take a wife from ímong the cannibals. Do not sow discord within our clan! Nobodyís touching you below the waist. Donít slander our leaders and young men! Our leaders are all wise and women - chaste. Sentiments - you keepíem to yourself. Iím leader, Iím stronger, I am man! Learn the rules and start repeating to yourself: "Long live "Primitive and prehistoric clans!" Why do you cower? Iíve not beat you yet. Give back my axe. I ask you, Dear Wife. And - bearskins, you see how cold I get. Iíll count to three, and then Iím gonna bite.
© Eugene Derbarmdiker. Translation, 2005