Guys, I am not kidding you one bit, But what an unexplained paradox? Someone is going to be chosen for a Roman Pope, And someone gets locked up in tiny box! All the cool places in a world are quickly taken. They were hoping to wait to see results. And meanwhile in the entire glorious Italy No one was found to become a Pope! Too bad, I was caught and was locked up too fast, Iíd drink a shot of vodka and go to Vatican. The priests and their people are bewildered, So slow makes decisions Vatican. We harried up and sent them yet another Pope, One of us, one of Poliaks, one of Slavs! Iím in my jail cell. Iím from Narofominsk! When you destroyed my life, did you know That I could be, should be a Roman Pope, And then Iíd make you, obviously, Queen! Too bad, I was caught and was locked up too fast, Iíd drink a shot of vodka and go to Vatican. With power, with crown, or with money, Us destiny, like kittens, throws around. But how could we miss the throne of Turkish Shah? Weíll never be forgiven by our sons. Their shah had no skill to rule his folk, Itís perfect moment to replace him, boys! With whom? Every other guy in our Turkmenia Is called Aya-Tala, or even Hominid. All my life I kick the gate with horns, like a beast. I rather take Koran, and go to Teheran. In Europe, in America, in Asia One leaderís fallen ill, anotherís almost dead. We missed already one neat post in Peace Holding, Even though itís filled with our former folk.
           
Our heroes look like real mighty knights, They swim along our Volga river and Cama. My roommate in a jail cell, Akhmed Halilov, Heís better than Mayo, canít even compare!
        Itís hard sometimes to carry our armor, But each of us has muscle and strong legs. We raised, I swear without extra modesty, An heir of Anahis among us! Make sure you notice who is gone before his time! Donít let Anasisís wife, Dzaki, to slip away! I will be sweet and brave with any heiress, Just give me back my freedom, fellows.
© Gulnara Elrod. Translation, 2007