Donít tempt me with concerts or theater plays. Iím busy. Iíve sworn an oath! Itís the Final! The match of the season, today. Iíll be rooting. Iím rooting for both. Donít you wake me tomorrow, donít even try. No alarms and no sirens! I mean it! Iím a nut, and nuts crack, so tonight I will die At the main downtown arena. After I pass away, wonít you carry my corpse During stoppage in play - be efficient! - Through the section 220, then mount a horse, And ride on, on through the intermission. Donít you wake me tomorrow, donít even try, With your bells, sirens, howls of hyenas! Iím sick all the way, and tonight I will die At the main downtown arena. When Iím dead, Iím sure no one takes offense: ďSomeone snuffed it? Thatís fine, it donít matter!Ē Bury me in the central circle, my friends, Or the six yard box - even better! Lying under the field, screaming incessantly: ďWill these overpaid bastards deliver?Ē And I love how the players run over me, Like some kind of gargantuan shivers! Now I savor attacks by my favorite teams, As both defenses try to recover. Good thing nobody hears my crazy-ass screams: ďBite me ref!Ē one way or another. In the morning donít bother with me: I wonít rise Like that dead Swan Lake ballerina. Iíve been sick all my life, and tonight I will die At the main downtown arena.
One more thing: donít dig deep. Two feet should suffice. I must know what goes on on the field! Or I will die again. Iíll be K.I.A. twice! And my destiny now is sealed.
© Vadim Astrakhan. Translation, 2017