Who cares that your old lady’s always nagging?
Who cares that your career just took a dive?
Who cares that, once again, you’re off the wagon?
Be thankful that at least you’re still alive.

No sweat - your only jacket doesn’t wear well.
No sweat - the nightmares kept you up till five.
No sweat - somebody mugged you in the stairwell.
Be thankful that at least you’re still alive.

 
 
 
 

Oh well - you’ll never play the ukulele.
Oh well - you’re looking pale and sleep deprived.
Oh well - your hair’s been falling out lately.
Be thankful that at least you’re still alive.

So what if you’ve got footprints on your forehead?
So what if you are breaking out in hives?
So what if your cholesterol is horrid?
Be thankful that at least you’re still alive.

 
 
 
 

Big deal - you are a nail and not a hammer.
Big deal - another summons has arrived.
Big deal - your spent your weekend in the slammer.
Be thankful that at least you’re still alive.

It’s true - a man must pay for every blunder.
It’s true - I’ve made the bed in which I lie.
It’s all so very true - I only wonder,
Whom do I thank that I am still alive?